


Indigestion

by HermioneQueenOfGreen



Series: A Year In The Life [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Shrek Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 04:51:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5814940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermioneQueenOfGreen/pseuds/HermioneQueenOfGreen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco Malfoy meets someone online and they decide to get together. Who is this mystery date, and will it be love at first sight? There's only one way to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Indigestion

My name is Draconus Malfoy, I despise gingers, and mudbloods and my parents worked for the man that killed quite a lot if other parents. I would ask you to be my friend, but I don't actually like you. I don't like anyone. Accept him. The man of my dreams. The one I see every night. He came to me once. Well he came on me but we'll get into that.

It was a dark night, kinda like that Muggle Bat Hero Person. Why someone would be a Bat I haven't the foggiest. If I was a super hero I would be an orc like my bae Shrek. He is love.

I digress, it was a dark night, and I was very excite. I almost peed myself in excitement. I didn't because I got to the potty in time. I know how to use the potty, my father Dobby taught me. Good Dobby. I killed hus children once, that was fun until I found out they were my brothers. Oops.  
I'm digressing again. It was a cold dark knight you get the jist. I had excited. I almost peed. I was excitement because I was.was going to meet someone I had been talking to on the line and we were going to partake in the frick frack frock. I had met him on the line about two days ago and I am in love. I want to marry him which I can do because interspecies marriage is legal (cheers Davud Cameron for doing something write for once)

So I met him online and he's coming to my house for the pickle tickle. I'm excited because I'm losing my Virginia.

Anyway he gets to the house around seven or eight and he yells to the cab "I ain't paying you" haha plot twist this isn't fresh prince. Anyways he knocks on the door so hard it breaks off its hinges kinda like in that first Harry Potter film where the Hagrid Ogre does the thing (what fourth wall) so yeah it's raining and cold and dark and this giant mass of a beast is standing in the doorway holding an umbrella. Wait no. He's not holding anything and it isn't Hagrid. It's shrek. The big green rage machine. I don't love Hagrid omg ew. Anyway I let him in and he grins at me all sexy like.  
"I'm gonna Shrek ur anus" said shrek. My dick was like hella hard by this point, it was getting constricted in my diaper. I took it off, it was all I was wearing, and stood at attention naked in the drawing room, or whichever one Granger got played with by Bella.

Shrek bends me over his knee because I don't offer to make him tea and he spanks me hella hard. It's a good job I like spanking. It's why I had a big crush on Lucio my fake father that one time.  
I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm bent over Shrek's knee and he's laying it into me because of the tea thing. I tell him to do it harder and he gets pissed off and pulls his trousers down. He puts his shrik in my shrok and we shrak all night. When I have been truly shruk, Shrek comes his beautiful juices onto me (like bukakke). He has so many juices and they go in all of my orifices including my peepee hole. I get worried that I might get pregnant but then I realise that I'm a male non seahorse and that idea is fucking stupid. I'm not Amy Swartsnoggen. You know "I'll be Bach" that guy. And I could just you know, Terminate the pregnancy if I was old Arnie. Effing retard. (Dammit I used up my f word slot. What a god damned waste.) Pile of donkey kronk if you ask me.

Btw Shrek isn't oniony, he's LIKE an onion, not an actual onion. Jesus he has layers. He actually tastes like haggis and my shit (because I don't wipe my bum very often)

I suggest that we make parfaits for breakfast because everyone loves parfaits and he gets angry again. His dick grows til it's taller than me. Oddly enough, the girth doesn't increase. It's all wriggly like a duck penis. (Google it, it's bloody grim)

He places me on the floor and spreads my come stained ass cheeks. I feel his not very hard dick slide into me. I come everywhere because oh god it feels good and I have issues with premature ejaculation. Anyway I feel his dick wriggling around in my anal cavity and my dick hardens again. I feel it go deeper and deeper until all of a sudden it's in my intestines. It does its usual dick penis impression and meanders it's way through my digestive system.

Eventually it reaches my mouth but instead of coming out of my mouth, it goes up my nasal passageway and comes out my nose hole. I come again because nose g spot is love. Shrek's duck penis then pauses at my mouth, toying with my lip as if asking for entrance (like a tongue in a regular fanfiction) and I open so that I can finally suck it. I say "Shrek Daddy give me Cummies." He says "Goosh Goosh" The part of his dick that goes into my mouth thickens so that I can properly feel him at the back of my throat and I suck him off expertly (I practiced on Lupin this one time, he's up for all sorts) and once again I tasted the semester of my lover. Iiik took his dick out of my mouth long enough to propose to him and now we're getting married. Sometimes he likes to shrek my anus with his interchangeable orc dick. I am so in love with that sexy ogre that I met two days ago on the line. He is My Immortal bae 5eva. I will never get ogre him. I would rather eat pussy (in boots) then get over my lover. Bae 5 lyf.

Some advice tho: check yoself be u Shrek yoself.   
Also potties are easy when you learn how to use them.   
Also, Shrek is love, Shrek is life.


End file.
